48-Some Days Ya Gotta Dance

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47-Quiet Your Mind

So I suppose it's time to account for the lack of updates on my part lately. The honest truth is I've been struggling, in every sense of the word. I'm not complaining, quite the opposite, but I think it's due time that I admit to myself and everyone else that it's not the best of times for me. I've had a lot thrown at me recently, and my life has been thrown in all different directions. Every day I feel like I have a new mountain to climb, and the whole time, I'm wearing flip flops, struggling to get up the first hill.
I'm lucky to have the people in my life that I have. I've got the best friends and family I ever could have asked for. But sometimes it's hard to see through the muck to the brighter side.
Assume what you will, because I know people are going to, but my problems don't revolve around just one thing. I was telling a friend yesterday that 2010 has had my highest highs and my lowest lows. I can't call it a bad year, nor would I want to. If anything, it's taught me some of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned.
I'm beginning again in so many ways in my life, and it's scary, but it's also really, really exhilarating. I know that once this storm (or series of storms, rather) breaks, I'll be able to see the sun and it will be brighter than it's ever been for me. It just takes time, and for the moment, I'll just have to wait.

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43-Different Kind of Fine

Things don't always work out the way you want. That's just life, and it's a hard realization for a lot of people. Everyone struggles, day in and day out, with their own demons. Some people shout their troubles from the rooftops and others keep it all bottled up. I can't personally say which is right, because everyone is different.
I just know that when things seem like they couldn't get any worse, and when you feel like you'll never be able to find the strength to pick yourself up off of the ground, something...even the smallest moment, breaks through and proves otherwise. Even the tiniest detail can turn your whole day, your whole outlook around, and it's in those little moments that everything gets turned around. Let the little things into your head and your heart. Don't shut them out, don't turn them away. Embrace them, and listen to them because it's in those moments that (if you're really listening), you'll realize that everything is going to be okay.

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42- Different Day

Do something different today. Something big, something small. Something. Anything. Just quit making excuses, and do it.


What are you going to do differently today?
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37-The Book I Read

As some of you may or may not know, I'm a very, very avid reader. A few years ago, I actually built my own book shelf in order to have one place to put my books. Well, enough time has passed that my book shelf is now overflowing and my books are spilling out onto the floor. The overflow books need a new home of their own. Since I've been on a cleaning/redecorating/organizing kick, I took to the internet to see what could be done about this. As much as I would love to make another book shelf of my own, I don't have the time or resources (and frankly, I don't have the room). So with space being my biggest roadblock, I scoured the internet looking for the perfect solution, and of course, I found it. A bookcase headboard. Please tell me this isn't the most genius idea ever?! I honestly never would have even thought about something like that, but alas, they exist, they're cute, and they're the perfect solution to my problem! I'm still juggling back and forth between a few options, but this is definitely next up on my list of things to get.

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31-Close the Door and Take the Stairs...Up or Down? Ups and Downs...

Imagine stairs.

Imagine lots and lots of stairs.

You start walking up, but you have no idea where it ends; where you'll be when they run out.

But you're going up.

What if you never get there?

What if they twist and turn endlessly, but never reach a final point.

Were you too concerned with the destination that you missed out on the entire journey?

Think about it.

30-In My Darkest Hour, I Will Be Free

Sometimes a little piece of good advice is all you need:

Especially when it comes at just the right time in your life.

27-Turn This Something Normal Into Something Beautiful

Get creative. Turn something plain and ordinary into something stunning and moving. Whether it's painting, writing, drawing, anything...do it. Get out there and make it happen. You'd be surprised how many people claim they have no creative talent, yet they never even attempt to exercise it. You think you can't draw? Do it anyways. Let those creative juices flow and eventually you'll find that even if the end result isn't visually perfect, you got something amazing out of it.

26-Leave the Great Indoors

Something a good friend of mine said recently got me thinking...
Most people live their lives looking through boxes or screen. They hop in their cars to drive to work and what are they doing? They're in their own little box, staring through the "screen" of their windshield until they get to their job. Then they get to work and sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen all day. Get back into the car, head home and stare at the television screen. Either that or they're staring out a window, another little box separating them from all of the things that truly mean something. It's time for everyone to take a step outside, both literally and figuratively. Step outside of all of your boxes; all of those screens you stare at, into, and out of day after day. Go outside, breathe in the fresh air and just be. It's even more simple than it sounds. Quit relying on your boxed in little world and leap into something unknown. The fear may be crippling, but I guarantee it'll be worth it in the end. Stop clinging to all the things that you think you need, and get more in touch with what you really want. It's the only way to live and the only way to be truly happy.

17-I Can't Take my Eyes Off of You

10/365- Hide, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

I've always been a bit of a people-watcher. I like to watch people from a distance and just observe them. Places like malls, parks, airports are perfect for it. Personally, I think that's one of the quickest and easiest ways to tell if someone is truly a good person. What they do when they think no one is looking is a reflection of their true self. 

If those little moments when you thought no one was looking were actually being seen by someone, how would they perceive you? Would you like the person they saw? Would you feel the need to explain to them "okay, I know what you saw but"? You would have to back-track and explain yourself or validate and excuse your actions. You might think it sounds a bit far-fetched, but a lot of people do this on a daily, hourly basis without even realize it.

Just think about it. You need to be the person you want to be all the time and not just when you think people are watching.

16- Some Days Ya Gotta Dance

9/365-Wall, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

Today was a really great day. It was beautiful outside, even with all of the snow. It just seemed like such a positive day. The kind of day where you crank up the radio and sing at the top of your lungs and turn on something you love and shake your ass like you haven't got a care in the world. So that's what I did, and it felt so liberating. I almost feel like a new woman with a brand new outlook. All I know is that tomorrow is going to be a brighter day, and I'll be sure to bring my dancing shoes.

14- I See the World With Brand New Eyes

7/365- Cap, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

This is one of my favorite self-portraits. I just really love how it turned out.

I've been starting to see a lot of things very differently lately, including myself and the world around me, and I think that this photo is a reflection of that. I think that's an important part of growing up. You realize a lot about the world and the people around you, and who you are as a person. The things that you begin to realize as you get older (and wiser) start to shape you in ways you never thought possible. Thus far, it's only been a positive force in my life. I've got an amazing support system helping me along the way on this bumpy journey, and that means more than I'll ever be able to properly put into words.

I've come to terms with that fact that people change, and not always for the better. People grow apart, some grow up, and some never do. That's just life, and you have to take the good with the bad in order to truly understand and appreciate everything. Yet, I feel like each and every day, especially lately I'm waking up and seeing things that I had never noticed before, or even seeing things in a different light. I'm becoming more aware of so much that is around me. It's difficult to accept that you're simply seeing things in a new and intriguing way, but if I hold back from admitting it to myself or others, I'm going to miss out on all the things that are happening. It's a beautiful world, and it has it's share of goods and bads and ups and downs, but I don't want to close my eyes and miss out on a single minute.

12- It's a Long Way Home

Begin, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

Just a friendly reminder :]

Also, I updated and changed the layout. Let me know what you think.

11-Before You Judge Me, Try Hard to Love Me

5/365-Cover, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

Today was a rough day. I had a lot going on, mentally, emotionally, physically, you name it. I've gotten about 10 or so hours of sleep collectively in the past week. The past month and a half, maybe 2 days, total? It's awful and it's very much starting to infiltrate other aspects of my life. I've been losing weight (which, while it may be a goal, this is NOT a healthy way to go about doing so), losing my appetite, I look sallow, I have deep pockets beneath my eyes, everything. More than anything, I'm just worried for myself. How can I expect others to care about me if I can't muster up enough energy to do the same?
I sought some much needed answers and assistance today, medically, and hopefully it was all work out. It was a big step for me, but luckily I had an amazing friend push me in the right direction and support me the whole way through.
Not every day is going to be perfect. I wouldn't want it to be, but I know, regardless of what's going on with...anything, that there's always something to look forward to. No matter how much it rains, the sun will still come up again tomorrow. I'm just looking forward to sipping my tea and watching that beautiful sunrise with a happy heart.

10- You Were One of the Brightest Stars

4/365- Stars, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

Sometimes you feel like you're on the brink of something big. A moment that will change your life forever. Maybe it's the new year, maybe it's a new purse, maybe it's a birth, a death, who knows, it's different for everyone, yet there are always those moments where everyone feels like they're about to drop off of a cliff and spread their wings and soar to new heights.

I feel that way lately. Things are changing, in a major way, yet they're subtle enough for me to accept without feeling overwhelmed. I quit my job, and I'm making so many plans, and more than anything, I'm following my heart and listening to my soul. I'm making myself happy, and for the first time in a long time I can say that I truly, honestly, and completely mean that. I absolutely feel like I'm holding the universe in the palm of my hands.

8- And We All Shine On

2/365- Glitter, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

This little butterfly was given to me by a good friend in Michigan. I hung it from a tapestry that I have in a reading corner in my room. This is typically where I go when I want some peace and quiet. I light some candles, sit on my bench, pull out a book and read or do some yoga, meditation or write.
There's something really liberating about being able to go to this corner of my room just to escape the world and have some serenity. It's my solace, my creative corner, my relaxation station.
This little guy in the picture helped pull the whole thing together. I've taken to touching him on my way out the door, and he's somehow become a good-luck charm for me.
I think everyone needs a good-luck charm, no matter what or who it is. Even if you don't believe in that sort of thing completely, sometimes it just helps to cheer your spirit and brighten your day just a bit.
I think one thing that I love so much about this butterfly is the glitter that he has all over him. It just reminds me every time that I look at him that everyone, in their own little way, always shines. So shine on, butterfly, shine on.

7- You Are My Weakness, You Are My Strength

1/365-Lip, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

So it's officially 2010. I hope everyone's New Years Eve celebrations were amazing and more importantly; safe.

I decided to start taking part in Project 365 (essentially take/post 1 photo a day for 365 days, sounds easier than it is!), so this is the beginning of that.

This year seems to already have a lot of hope attached to it. People already seem to be banking on this year being so much greater than all the rest, without realizing that it doesn't matter what year it is, it matters what you do in and with that year. If you want this to be the best year of your life, or the happiest, or the most productive, make it so! Don't just rest on your laurels and hope that just because it's 2010 it'll happen. You're far more powerful than you realize, and the second you realize it, the second you'll start making life exactly what you want it to be.

6-I'll Follow Your Lead

Feet, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

It's getting closer and closer to 2010. For a lot of people that means new beginnings. Many have suffered pain, loss, struggle, torment, and extreme difficulty in 2009. Even if you haven't endured any great tragedy in the past year, who says you cannot start over, start fresh in the new year?
This doesn't necessarily mean setting any goals or resolutions. Maybe that's just setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead of resolving to work out, lose weight, write more, why not just resolve to be more of who you truly are? Be yourself, do what makes you happy, fight for your soul and your sanity. You're what counts in the end, and if you've got yourself squared away, everything else will surely fall right into place.