49-Relax, Take it Easy

Enjoy the little things today. Try and relax, take a calm approach and just go with the flow.
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47-Quiet Your Mind

So I suppose it's time to account for the lack of updates on my part lately. The honest truth is I've been struggling, in every sense of the word. I'm not complaining, quite the opposite, but I think it's due time that I admit to myself and everyone else that it's not the best of times for me. I've had a lot thrown at me recently, and my life has been thrown in all different directions. Every day I feel like I have a new mountain to climb, and the whole time, I'm wearing flip flops, struggling to get up the first hill.
I'm lucky to have the people in my life that I have. I've got the best friends and family I ever could have asked for. But sometimes it's hard to see through the muck to the brighter side.
Assume what you will, because I know people are going to, but my problems don't revolve around just one thing. I was telling a friend yesterday that 2010 has had my highest highs and my lowest lows. I can't call it a bad year, nor would I want to. If anything, it's taught me some of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned.
I'm beginning again in so many ways in my life, and it's scary, but it's also really, really exhilarating. I know that once this storm (or series of storms, rather) breaks, I'll be able to see the sun and it will be brighter than it's ever been for me. It just takes time, and for the moment, I'll just have to wait.

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45-Put Your Brave Face On

Product Name: Yes to Tomatoes
Product Type: Facial Mask
Purchased at: Target
Price: $$
Purpose: According to the website: "Yes to Tomatoes Facial Mask is a total deep pore treatment that refines, purifies and even moisturizes your skin, while keeping your complexion clean, clear, and balanced."
Review: I've used this mask several times since I've gotten it and I'm absolutely in love. It smells amazing, it takes 5 minutes out of my day, and I've already noticed an improvement in my skin (my pores and blemishes, especially). I have very oily skin, which is what this mask was made for, and I've noticed less oil production throughout the day, but it doesn't dry my face out either. I definitely recommend this mask, but only to those of you with oily skin. The rest of you will probably find it a bit drying. However, the "Yes To..." brand offers different masks for various skin types.
The Bottom Line: A bit pricey compared to your every day drugstore facial masks, but definitely worth the price you're paying.
Overall Rating: 8.5/10


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43-Different Kind of Fine

Things don't always work out the way you want. That's just life, and it's a hard realization for a lot of people. Everyone struggles, day in and day out, with their own demons. Some people shout their troubles from the rooftops and others keep it all bottled up. I can't personally say which is right, because everyone is different.
I just know that when things seem like they couldn't get any worse, and when you feel like you'll never be able to find the strength to pick yourself up off of the ground, something...even the smallest moment, breaks through and proves otherwise. Even the tiniest detail can turn your whole day, your whole outlook around, and it's in those little moments that everything gets turned around. Let the little things into your head and your heart. Don't shut them out, don't turn them away. Embrace them, and listen to them because it's in those moments that (if you're really listening), you'll realize that everything is going to be okay.

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42- Different Day

Do something different today. Something big, something small. Something. Anything. Just quit making excuses, and do it.


What are you going to do differently today?
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37-The Book I Read

As some of you may or may not know, I'm a very, very avid reader. A few years ago, I actually built my own book shelf in order to have one place to put my books. Well, enough time has passed that my book shelf is now overflowing and my books are spilling out onto the floor. The overflow books need a new home of their own. Since I've been on a cleaning/redecorating/organizing kick, I took to the internet to see what could be done about this. As much as I would love to make another book shelf of my own, I don't have the time or resources (and frankly, I don't have the room). So with space being my biggest roadblock, I scoured the internet looking for the perfect solution, and of course, I found it. A bookcase headboard. Please tell me this isn't the most genius idea ever?! I honestly never would have even thought about something like that, but alas, they exist, they're cute, and they're the perfect solution to my problem! I'm still juggling back and forth between a few options, but this is definitely next up on my list of things to get.

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30-In My Darkest Hour, I Will Be Free

Sometimes a little piece of good advice is all you need:

Especially when it comes at just the right time in your life.

27-Turn This Something Normal Into Something Beautiful

Get creative. Turn something plain and ordinary into something stunning and moving. Whether it's painting, writing, drawing, anything...do it. Get out there and make it happen. You'd be surprised how many people claim they have no creative talent, yet they never even attempt to exercise it. You think you can't draw? Do it anyways. Let those creative juices flow and eventually you'll find that even if the end result isn't visually perfect, you got something amazing out of it.

26-Leave the Great Indoors

Something a good friend of mine said recently got me thinking...
Most people live their lives looking through boxes or screen. They hop in their cars to drive to work and what are they doing? They're in their own little box, staring through the "screen" of their windshield until they get to their job. Then they get to work and sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen all day. Get back into the car, head home and stare at the television screen. Either that or they're staring out a window, another little box separating them from all of the things that truly mean something. It's time for everyone to take a step outside, both literally and figuratively. Step outside of all of your boxes; all of those screens you stare at, into, and out of day after day. Go outside, breathe in the fresh air and just be. It's even more simple than it sounds. Quit relying on your boxed in little world and leap into something unknown. The fear may be crippling, but I guarantee it'll be worth it in the end. Stop clinging to all the things that you think you need, and get more in touch with what you really want. It's the only way to live and the only way to be truly happy.

25-Headed Down South to the Land of the Pines

Life can change so instantly that you never see it coming. Things you didn't plan or even want to happen come in and swoop down and take over your life and they usually end up being the biggest blessing. Six months ago, I thought I had my life figured out for the next 10 years. I had it all laid out. But then, as it often does, life happened and knocked me on my ass in a big way. I made an impromptu decision to do something that I'd never considered and while it cost me quite a bit in some ways, it's changed my life for the better in almost every other way.
I couldn't be happier than I am right now, and that's the honest truth. I've been learning to lean on myself in a big way, more than I ever have before, and it's teaching me that I'm a lot stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I can do anything and I am, and that is the most empowering feeling in the world.

20- It's Hard to See Beyond These Walls

12/365-Dress, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

This is my senior year prom dress. I heard this song on shuffle, and it prompted me to pull the dress out of the closet and put it on and start snapping photos. I'm just glad it still fit.

It got me thinking though. The dress and the song. When you're in high school, you're being shaped into the person that you're going to become, and you think you know everything but really...you know nothing. And at the time, anyone trying to tell you that is crazy and, obviously..wrong. But when those four years are over, you realize how naive you truly were. You hold on to the memories you made, of course, but who wore what, and who tripped during lunch...none of it matters. We all know that now, but why couldn't we be convinced then?

17-I Can't Take my Eyes Off of You

10/365- Hide, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

I've always been a bit of a people-watcher. I like to watch people from a distance and just observe them. Places like malls, parks, airports are perfect for it. Personally, I think that's one of the quickest and easiest ways to tell if someone is truly a good person. What they do when they think no one is looking is a reflection of their true self. 

If those little moments when you thought no one was looking were actually being seen by someone, how would they perceive you? Would you like the person they saw? Would you feel the need to explain to them "okay, I know what you saw but"? You would have to back-track and explain yourself or validate and excuse your actions. You might think it sounds a bit far-fetched, but a lot of people do this on a daily, hourly basis without even realize it.

Just think about it. You need to be the person you want to be all the time and not just when you think people are watching.

14- I See the World With Brand New Eyes

7/365- Cap, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

This is one of my favorite self-portraits. I just really love how it turned out.

I've been starting to see a lot of things very differently lately, including myself and the world around me, and I think that this photo is a reflection of that. I think that's an important part of growing up. You realize a lot about the world and the people around you, and who you are as a person. The things that you begin to realize as you get older (and wiser) start to shape you in ways you never thought possible. Thus far, it's only been a positive force in my life. I've got an amazing support system helping me along the way on this bumpy journey, and that means more than I'll ever be able to properly put into words.

I've come to terms with that fact that people change, and not always for the better. People grow apart, some grow up, and some never do. That's just life, and you have to take the good with the bad in order to truly understand and appreciate everything. Yet, I feel like each and every day, especially lately I'm waking up and seeing things that I had never noticed before, or even seeing things in a different light. I'm becoming more aware of so much that is around me. It's difficult to accept that you're simply seeing things in a new and intriguing way, but if I hold back from admitting it to myself or others, I'm going to miss out on all the things that are happening. It's a beautiful world, and it has it's share of goods and bads and ups and downs, but I don't want to close my eyes and miss out on a single minute.

11-Before You Judge Me, Try Hard to Love Me

5/365-Cover, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

Today was a rough day. I had a lot going on, mentally, emotionally, physically, you name it. I've gotten about 10 or so hours of sleep collectively in the past week. The past month and a half, maybe 2 days, total? It's awful and it's very much starting to infiltrate other aspects of my life. I've been losing weight (which, while it may be a goal, this is NOT a healthy way to go about doing so), losing my appetite, I look sallow, I have deep pockets beneath my eyes, everything. More than anything, I'm just worried for myself. How can I expect others to care about me if I can't muster up enough energy to do the same?
I sought some much needed answers and assistance today, medically, and hopefully it was all work out. It was a big step for me, but luckily I had an amazing friend push me in the right direction and support me the whole way through.
Not every day is going to be perfect. I wouldn't want it to be, but I know, regardless of what's going on with...anything, that there's always something to look forward to. No matter how much it rains, the sun will still come up again tomorrow. I'm just looking forward to sipping my tea and watching that beautiful sunrise with a happy heart.

4-I'll Always be Unsatisfied

Stadium, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

Sometimes it's really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. When you go through a struggle or a rough patch, sometimes that's all you can see. It's all you can focus on.

I'm a firm believer that everyone's pain is their own. If a broken nail completely ruined your day, who am I to tell you that that's a silly thing to be upset about? It's not my place. Everyone's pain is there own. But it's important to surround yourself with people who will help you no matter what your problem is at the moment. The kind of people who make you believe in yourself. Who help you to realize that you'er strong and sovereign and can do anything simply because you're you.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. One metaphor I keep thinking of lately comes to mind right now: You can light a candle in a room full of 'darkness' and all the darkness and negativity dissipates. But you can't take a well-lit room and add any amount of darkness to consume the room completely. The light will always shine through.

Just remember that: your light will always shine through.