32-It Takes a Toll to Show You Care, It Takes a Whole to Make a Mountain

Sometimes the most obvious path in life is the hardest one to take. We make excuses, whether it be for ourselves or other people, and end up holding on to things that simply need to be let go. I'm going to borrow a quote from Mark Twain to make my point a bit easier:

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."

I have been holding on to a very toxic relationship for a very long time. Far longer than I would like to admit. I'm sure the gossip-mongers are going to assume they know who this is about, and that's fine, but please do not assume you know everything about me. But I digress. I finally took one of the biggest steps forwarding in getting this negative force out of my life, and as simple as it sounds, it took upwards of ten years for me to do: I finally spoke my mind. I was absolutely honest about everything that I felt and all the thoughts that had been floating around in my head. Getting everything off of my chest and out in the open makes me feel like a new woman. And in retrospect, I can't believe it was that simple. I wasn't expecting any great revelation from opening up and pouring everything out. I knew I would most likely get no response (which is the case, go figure), but that wasn't the point. The point was the get that negativity out of me. To clear it out of my soul and my life and quilt holding on to it and dwelling on it. Like I said, it's something that took me years to be able to finally do, but I'm glad that I did. I can't wait to see where I go from here.

14- I See the World With Brand New Eyes

7/365- Cap, originally uploaded by monica jennison.

This is one of my favorite self-portraits. I just really love how it turned out.

I've been starting to see a lot of things very differently lately, including myself and the world around me, and I think that this photo is a reflection of that. I think that's an important part of growing up. You realize a lot about the world and the people around you, and who you are as a person. The things that you begin to realize as you get older (and wiser) start to shape you in ways you never thought possible. Thus far, it's only been a positive force in my life. I've got an amazing support system helping me along the way on this bumpy journey, and that means more than I'll ever be able to properly put into words.

I've come to terms with that fact that people change, and not always for the better. People grow apart, some grow up, and some never do. That's just life, and you have to take the good with the bad in order to truly understand and appreciate everything. Yet, I feel like each and every day, especially lately I'm waking up and seeing things that I had never noticed before, or even seeing things in a different light. I'm becoming more aware of so much that is around me. It's difficult to accept that you're simply seeing things in a new and intriguing way, but if I hold back from admitting it to myself or others, I'm going to miss out on all the things that are happening. It's a beautiful world, and it has it's share of goods and bads and ups and downs, but I don't want to close my eyes and miss out on a single minute.